These pictures were taken on Sarah's last day at St. Lukes Hospital. She will be traveling during her last 2 weeks to Hong Kong (visiting Brittany Nelson from Mead, NE) and to Mumbai. Her return flight gets into Chicago on Dec 20th at 9pm and then she'll be driving to Omaha with Kristen on the 21st. Hopefully she'll wear all her sarees and scarves to church on Christmas Eve :)

picture link

Don't miss Sarah's new post below...we just wanted to link the photos too
Click here to see some photos on facebook

here's another album too

click here

The Last Week

Well this may very well be my last post, I am leaving on Saturday for Hong Kong and then its only two weeks until I'm at home, wow that is so weird. I kind of felt like this day would never come, I didn't want it to, because even if I come back some people will have left and new people in their place. In India I feel like things change often in the sense people are always getting married and having babies which makes their lives change and makes them move. When I come back (hopefully next year) most likely one of the girls in my family will be getting married and Laxmi will be having a kid in May which is one of the reasons I want to come back so soon. Another one of my friends is getting married around the same time and will be leaving the hospital. I'm just trying to soak it all in before I leave. Most people have been telling me to just go with my plan of marrying a doctor and staying here, but I decided I would end up killing him because he would force me to do his laundry and the dishes and cook. Two days ago was Sabina and my going away party where Mrs. Abraham said that I cried every day becuase of how hard it was for me to see such poverty which in fact didn't happen and she went on to say some more things that are only true in her little world so I was happy that most the people don't speak English that well. Then I got up and said a few words in Kannada something like I want go no. haha. then Dr. Abraham kindly translated the rest for me. I didn't know what to say becuase I didn't want to feel like I was leaving, so i just said i never missed my family because you guys are my family. I think I'll probably end up saying more later. I feel like God has saved the swedish girl I'm with now for last becuase he knew if it was at the beginning i would kill her. I find it annoying when people don't put any effort into getting along with other cultures or they think they can act the same way around them without offending them, but I'm learning a deeper kind of patience from living with her.
Yesterday I went to Gulbarga with my indian family and had the best day so far. We went to see all the different sights and took pictures and I'll never forget sitting on the fort wall with them looking out and being able to see india for miles on end with kites flying high, it reminded me a lot of the book the Kite Runner. I was just sitting there thinking it doesn't get much better than this.
I dont know how the rest of the week will feel, whether I'll realize that I'm leaving or not, but I keep praying that I'll cry when I leave so they know that I will miss them. Sometimes when I leave a place I dont cry because I dont really realize I'm leaving.
Well I'm going to go watch a hindi film, a nice three hour one :). I hope everyone is doing well and I will see you in three weeks!

A few pictures...

Vacation

So my mother arrived here what a week ago or something, I dont really keep track of time... Anyways my vacation has gone like this...
Took a ten hour train ride to Mumbai to surprize her then we stayed the night in mumbai and left at 7 am on the morning train to Goa, the train ride was more interesting than Goa but we only stayed a day there...
Then we left the next night on the night train to Kochi. I however forgot to check the time of the trains departure to see if had changed and we ended up missing the train, 900 rupee's later we were in the sleeper cars wondering what we had gotten ourselves into, 15 hours later we were in Kochi, Kerala. From there we took a taxi another hour to Kottayam or something like that and spent the night in a place that is probably ment for honeymooners... It was nice...
The next morning we went on a house boat and I must say my expectations were blown to peices, it was amazing pictures will be online when my mom gets home.
Then the next morning we took another taxi to Kumily which is very touristy and we are at a home stay outside of the Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary. Today we went to the sanctuary and saw elephants tigers and bears... okay not really, we saw a lot of monkeys and butterflies... it was still good though.
We hiked around the sanctuary with our own guide and got some nice leeches on us but luckly they gave us these atractive sock things to make sure they didn't suck our blood, my mother wasnt so lucky, she got bit twice...
Now we are going to a Martial Art performance... I know... weird but it looks cool.
Tomorrow were going somewhere prett, learning how to cook indian food, and something else. Well I must be off, sorry I havent posted in awhile, more later!

Love and miss you,
Sarah

Mom made it to India

Since Sarah never updates this, I wanted you all to know that my mom made it to India and is with Sarah right now! She'll be there until Nov 22nd and then Sarah will be there another month. Hopefully they'll update it soon so we can see what they're up to! I heard also that on my mom's facebook it says Sarah got all the goodies that were sent with my mom, letters from friends at North Park, toys for kids at the hospital and some food Sarah has missed (chocolate chips and M&Ms, I know, not fair trade...)

-Kristen

That was close...

So today was inspection day, meaning a doctor from the government comes and tells you what you are doing wrong. We had be preparing for this for the past two weeks and since he only comes once every 4 months we had 4 months of paper work to make sure was complete. Over the past three days Richardson, Ramesh, and I wrote over 200 address of patients in a book and completed a lot of pending charts. I cant say that I've eaten a whole lot this week because I've been at the hosptial, adding that I've been sick this hasn't been the funnest week. Although I love Ramesh and Richardson so that makes it a little bit easier. So he came and looked around, went through files, and then did rounds and all together it took about 7 hours, luckly I got to be with the patients instead of listening to the Inspector.
Something fun that is going on this week is Cricket. Australlia vs. India and man do they get excited over cricket, but now that I know how its played I think its pretty amazing too. I wish we had cricket instead of baseball. Actually right now they are playing and I believe that Australlia is going to win, but India is ahead in games won so it doesn't matter too much.
Something not so fun that happened today was me almost killing a patient...
This morning I was hooking up some ciplox iv and giving a voveron inj. and I though that voveron was Iv/Im when really it was strictly IM. I was just about to push it through the veinflow when Ramesh said wait what is that. I said voveron and he said you almost just killed the patient. Needless to say I didn't kill the patient but the patient does not trust me anymore and I dont blame him. I am definatly going to make sure I ask whether its IV or Im next time.
This afternoon I was sitting with Laxmi, one of my favorites who probably wont make it much longer, and all the sudden she showed me her veinflow was ripped out and there was blood going down her arm. I instinctively grabed to stop the bleeding forgetting that she had AIDS. So I got her blood on my hand and when I realized I ran to the sink to wash it off and used surgical scrub then put gloves on and went and stopped the bleeding. I know you might think its not that big of a deal, but I have open bug bits all over my arms from mosquittos so if her blood would of gotten in they hospital would of been a little caotic. Luckly it didn't. Pray for her if you have the time, she has severe jaundice, billiumin of 9.56 and it can't get much higher than 10 until you die.
I also found out that Sushila and Mukesh, they are from my earlier posts, they died last month in there house, so that was pretty sad.
All in all I am still loving it here, the people are amazing and I am celebrating a Hindu festival with my Indian family on monday which will be great. One of my big prayers to God is that I'll never be put in a position where I'll be worshiping another god. I always make sure to pray more when I am having communtity with Hindu's in the way of celebrating one of their festivals.
Well now i have to go and watch some Cricket, give some inj., do some paper work and try and get to bed before 11.
Goodnight,
I miss you all!

Gravity

Its common knowledge that everything that goes up must come back down, its called gravity. Gravity is what I beleive I am experiencing in my life, the euphoria of being in a new place and doing something different is now waring off and I am left with reality. Today one of the male nurses, Ramesh, said that I was starting to look more Indian, not becuase I am getting tanner becuause I'm not and not because I'm wearing Indian clothes, because I rarely do, he said this because I wasn't as happy as I usually am. Usually I am always laughing and smiling but today I am tired and my spirit seems heavier than usual. Ever since Kashappa died things move a little bit slower, being carefree in India isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. I've been having more trouble sleeping, but I believe that even though its good to be happy there are certain times in life when God takes you though the valleys. I absolutly love it here still and I can't imagine being anywhere else, but I think I'm at the part of my journey where God is showing me his pain, He's giving me a small taste of what he feels and as painful as it is, I am so glad He's doing it.
I go over to my friends house every night for Kannada lessons which is something that makes life a little easier. Its weird how well I fit in with them, there are four girls that are sisters, Laxmi, Ranuka, Sujeta, and Divya. Their oldest sister was killed by her husband and her sister in law but no action was taken against the husband because their parents were cousins. Three years later their father died from the grief of loosing his daughter, I can't imagine choosing someone for your child to marry and then ending up having her be murdered by that person. When they told me all of this all I could really say was wow and that I could even begin to imagine how hard that would be. Being with them is like being home again because two are younger than me and two are older around the same ages as my sisters. Somedays being with them keeps me sane, they are also all Hindu so I have learned a lot about that culture and religion.
I also found out this week that one of my friends here, Dr. Sheeba, was gone for three days because her husband beat her with a stick on her leg so she couldn't walk because it was too painful. That fact that they are christians makes it even harder. This is one of the reasons I have had trouble sleeping.
I can understand the comment that I look more Indian because I'm not as happy because life is so hard for people here. After Ramesh said this I decided that was my cue to go home and pray because I am suppose to show joy through the pain, even when life gets so hard and I feel like just laying down and sleeping, I should still bring the joy of the Lord to these people because there is still hope through the pain.
On a lighter note I am now alone in my house for the next two weeks because the two swedish girls left and another one doesnt come until the 4th of November. The fact that november is next week scares me becuase that means I only have a month left here and then I go to Hong Kong and Bombay! And my mother comes next saturday which will be great! I hope that everyone is doing well and that you get to see God working in your life daily!

Prayer Request

That this sickness will leave me, I slept all day yesterday and now just have the leftovers of sickness in me.
For the Patients, that I would show the love of Christ to them and that they would be healed
For the Staff, that they would find joy in their work and that they would lean on the Lord.
That God would bless the Patil family

I miss you and love you all!

I Don't Want to Grow Up.

Last night I was sitting in the Hospital Rec. room watching an old Hindi Film with the watchman and all the sudden my mind wanderd back to when I was little. I started to think about the Christmas' at my Grandparents house in Minnesota with the whole family, the smell is one of the things I remember the best but I can't discribe it, I just remember feeling safe. I always loved going to Minnesota and playing in the snow and sitting by the fire place waiting to open presents. Life is good when youre young, no real responsibilities and no real worries. The day I turned 20 the only thing I wanted to do was cry, which sounds silly, but that was the first day I really realized I was grown up. I had a job and lived in an apartment in Chicago and life wasn't as easy anymore. I had to buy and cook my own food, do my own laundry, and I would say do my own dishes but my roommates usually ended up doing them... they are very nice people. I felt stupid because usually people are so excited to be on their own, but I didn't feel ready, I'm only 20. I'm only 20 and here I am in the middle of India working at an AIDS clinic... how did I get here is a question that keeps going through my head. If you would of asked me what do you think you'll be doing when youre twenty I would of said College and as much as we want to think that we're independant in College its not true. Most people are getting money from their parents because its too hard to work and go to school. College is an inbetween point in life, you aren't completely dependant on your parents but you aren't independant yet.
Here in India I am independent, but luckly I'm a Christian so I've really just moved from going to my parents for help to going to God. When I look at my life over the past 7 years I can tell that everything has been getting me ready for this, the things I've learned have helped me a ton while being here. I've noticed how well my parents have brought me up becuase when I see other people doing things I think, I'm so glad my parents taught me not to do that because thats awfly stupid.
Here God is really the only constant thing, I have friends that are on staff that I hang out with when they're here but when there not working I have patients and the girls I live with, both change every 2 to 5 week, so inconsitancy is my life. But I feel like God has made me to thrive with an inconsitant life, when things become to consitant I'm not as good, I get bored and then don't work as hard, I think this is one of the biggest problems I have with school, how unchanging it is. I get bored and I stop doing the work. I'll have to work on that if I got back to school :).
This morning I went to the hospital and found that the nurse on duty wasn't coming for another hour and some of the patients were suppose to get IV fluid and injections while I was there so I decided I would do it by myself, this is always a stupid thought of mine, that I can just do something by myself. So I then decided to go ask the nurse on duty if I could just do it and he said yes so today I got to be a real nurse. I looked at the charts, saw what they needed, and then gave it to them, only running into a little trouble. It felt good to finally be able to do most of it by myself, although I still dont know all the medicines so I'll have to wait for that, but being here and actually doing it is so much better than being in school, but of course they want me to get a degree before really doing anything so I'll have to leave. Well its now time for lunch so I must go but I hope everything is going well in the States and if I get this package hopefully I can call some of you :).

Love and miss you all!!

Bug bite... stop itching...

I must say you know you've been in India a while when you dont care if theres a spider on you and you burp out loud without thinking. I have been in India over a month now and I can't say I've ever loved somewhere so much. I wish I could say I missed people back home and to an extent I do, dont worry, but its hard to miss back home when where I am is so amazing. I work like crazy but I dont even consider it work because its so fun, I even like charting now. I am in love with the girls in the female ward right now, I spend most nights talking to them, even though we speak different languages. Richardson always comes in and asks me why I'm sitting in there and I tell him I'm talking to the patients and he's always so confused of how I'm talking to them, but usually at least one of them knows a little English. The staff here has become my family, the director and his wife are like my parents and the rest are like my brothers and sisters, it works well because they all call me sister becuase thats what you call nurses, so I now respond to sister.
The directors wife, Mrs. Abraham, loves me, which is good becuase she's high up, so really if anything went wrong with another staff member I could have them yelled at even if I was in the wrong, not that that would ever happen. Today she told me I shouldn't go home, just stay here and work, and I told her I would gladly if I wasn't 20,000 dollars in debt from my education. It would take a long time to pay that off if I only made 50-100 dollars a month. I had three goals in my life, one was to go to the opera, second was to go to Africa, and third was to become a nurse. I feel like I have reached all the goals I have set because I do everything the nurses do here. I'll have to start setting some new goals, ha. I have so much I could write, stories about a woman who had lost her husband, a child, so now she's a single mother with one child and is living with AIDS. Theres also another boy, 10 years old, TB and AIDS, his father was admitted also, I gave him bubbles and made him smile. A 40 year old mother who just found out she had AIDS and crys all the time now. Laxmi who has also lost a child and her husband and now is being taken care of by her sister. The laughs I have shared with them over trying to speak Kannada. The endless times I have walked away from the hospital hoping that the time away from it would go quickly. Countless hours I've spent during the night praying. The amount of love God has placed in my heart for this place and these people. Oh how I could go on.
But now I must go do nightly rounds so maybe I'll have a better post later :).

I miss and love you all!!!

Wait, You Ment That Patient?

This morning I was awakened by a man knocking on my door, beckoning to come with him through the pouring rain to the hospital, my first thought was I need to put my bra on. My second was either I am in trouble for taking out Sacrayya's IV last night or he didn't make it through the night. The man left me so I could get dressed, but it was one of those things where you just wake up so you don't really know whats going on so I just put on some clothes and left not really thinking a whole lot about what I looked like. When I got there I could feel right away that it was the second part of my thought, that he didn't make it, that held true. Richardson had called me to the hospital so I could say goodbye to Sacrayya's aunt, who I had spent a lot of time with the past few days. When I walked it I was happy that the body was covered because it has been one of my prayers to never see someone die. His aunt was sitting on the floor and as soon as she saw me she started crying, he had been dead 2 hours but they had just got done with the paperwork and were waiting for me to come before they left in the ambulence. All I could do was hold her hand and give rub her back becuase in India hugging people isn't really common, but I was glad they had gotten me, not so I could see Sacrayya, but so I could be some comfort to his Aunt. This morning when I went back to my house I thought that I was handling very well, not crying at all, because for me he had died yesterday when he stopped waking up, so I've had a chance to get ready and to mourn, but as I went through the day I realized that I was just holding everything in inorder to keep on going. I don't remember the last time I was this emotionally drained. Thats when I remembered the comfort of God and how he can take everything and carry it, so prayer is starting to be something I cling more to every day I'm here.
It's hard building up community with people just to have it torn down when they leave, making me have to build up a new one with patients everytime, it gets exhausting. Dr. Sheeba and some of the nurses have been getting mad at me for not being as safe as I should, they think I'm going to end up getting TB or HIV because supposedly I dont wear gloves all the time, it was really just once that I didn't, not a big deal, but somehow I think they found out I didn't that one time so now they are reminding me a lot on the safety proceedure that I never learned :).
Despite their constant nagg about safety I love the staff here. I feel like I am part of the group, they keep on telling me how much better I am, especially because now I can do the crappy charting that they usually have to do, richardson was very happy I learned how to do that because it was his job. Today I have only been home to eat and the rest of the day was spent at the hospital. The staff is hilarious just to watch and when I know what they are saying its even better. I have found I'm able to pick up on things even if they're in Kannada which is nice, especially when dealing with patients.
Today World Vision India came to the health clinic to do some community screenings so I got to take pictures with people like I was the queen and give my autograph... I'm not even joking. I so wanted to just sit in the nurses station doing paper work but since I was the foreign guest I had to go and pretend to be powerful. Most days I wish I was a chameleon so I could just change into the color of the people I was around, no one would stare at you, I would be just another person. It doesn't look like thats happening today so I'll just have to deal.

Prayer Requests

That I dont get TB
That I dont get AIDS
That I will be someone who can be a good example
That the patients get better
That the rain that I always pray for would let up when I'm walking around outside :) (rain makes it cooler out)
For Sacrayya's Aunt
That Dr. Abraham will let us paint
That the swedish girls coming soon are nice and speak english (I really like the two who are here now, one knows english really well).

The Real India

I have been told I am experiencing the "real" India, and I believe it. Down stairs there is a boy named SacrayyaSamy that probably won't make it the night, he's had both his parents die of AIDS, and anything we give him comes right back out. I am also living in a place where the power goes out during a tubectomy and local anesthesia doesnt always work. Despite any kind of realness I am experiencing, I absolutly l0ve it here, I know without a doubt it was Gods purpose for me to be here from the beginning. I am completely addicted to giving shots in peoples butts and even though the paper work is dull and I dont really need to help with it, I'd rather sit in the hospital doing that then be at home doing nothing. One of the pluses of living a little .1 mile away from the hospital is that I can be there all the time, which I have started to do. This last week I found out while walking through the hospital after hours that there are nurses that give shots at 8 pm so I started going then also.
Mrs. Abraham has been hinting to me that the hospital needs a new painting for awhile and I felt like God was telling me to do it, so I asked her today if we could paint some of the rooms and she got so excited! I think being in the youth group at first cov made me fall in love with construction/paint things :). Okay the power just went out and the bugs are attacking the computer so more blog later!

My Address

Sarah Van Putten
c/o Dr. K.A. Abraham
#236, Jayanagar
University Road
Gulbarga, 585105
Karnataka
India

You can send me anything here. More blog tomorrow. hopefully.

Oh How the Spiders Jump

Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and found the biggest spider I have ever seen on the wall. Needless to say I didn't go to the bathroom yesterday. I have found, maybe because I'm a vegetarian, that I don't enjoy killing insects. There were a whole bunch of ants in my room the other day because there was a dead cockroach on the floor so they were going to carry it somewhere and eat it I guess. Anyways I got out the powder that kills them, but once I saw that they had died I felt so bad and prayed that God would bring them back to life and make them leave my room. I felt silly afterwards because they are just ants but I think being here has made me more sensitive to the pain of others, even if they are just ants.
So I have found that on the weekends nothing happens here. Its like of like they expect me to just sleep for two days, luckily some new swedish women came so its a little bit more interesting. Hannah and Mariah, ones 32 and the other one is over 40. I feel like I have learned as much about Sweden as I have about India, I live in Sweden but I go to work in India.
Yesterday I decided to go into work even though I have the weekends off, but the staff works from 9-1 so I dont see the point in having that day off. So I went in and played some charades and one 2 out of 8 times, I also found one of my favorites, Tukkamma, sitting on the ground of a place that wasn't her room because she wanted to use a knife so I went and cut up and apple for her which was good because I wanted to feel useful. Once we were back in her room she pointed to her food and explained with her hands that she didn't like it, so I went back to my house and got her a banana, apple, and a sweet lime, but she didn't want the banana. She's very skinny and doesn't have a lot of energy but ever since I gave her those things shes been happier so if I come away from India with only that I've served a purpose :). I feel like its strange how much I love these patients when I can't even talk to them, which makes me feel like if I could talk to them it would be even better. Maybe I'll start learning how to speak Cannada.

I know this post is short but theres not a whole lot to say, I'm become a person of fewer words just because I dont use them that much. I hope eveyone had a splendid weekend and that everyone is in good health. Oh and america should really invest in some Indian clothing because it is SO comfortable!

Love, Love, Love

Sarah

I will lift my eyes

I will start out with a kind warning to all who read, many of the stories I am about to tell do not have happy endings, much like a series of unfortunate events (its a book series). The following stories deal with life, death, and the inbetween. If you are in a sad state yourself I would encourage you not to read because I wouldn't want to push you into further saddness, although the deep sorrow I feel for some of the people in the following stories might be less sad to people who have never seen them, so in conclusion read but know that it isn't happy.

Amilkumar came into St. Lukes three days ago to get treatment for his TB. He was coughing up blood and vomitting up whatever he ate because of the medicine he was taking. He also was born with AIDS, 99 percent of the time its the father going and having relations with a prostitute or sex slave with HIV that makes the mother and the child aquire it. So from the day he was concieved he was handed a death sentence for the sins of his father, no one lives more than 12 years after getting HIV in South India so I shouldn't have been suprised when I went to work this morning to find out he had died in the night. He was 9 and we had bonded over bubbles just the day before. He gave me great joy whenever I walked into the room to see him. I remember going into the ward and saying hello to the patients the first day he was here and seeing him and being filled with overflowing joy, he gave me the biggest smile and shook my hand and said hello. He was 9 but had the body of a dying 5 year old. As soon as I left the room I went straight to my house to get one of the bottles of bubbles that previous swedes had left there and brought it back to him. He covered his mouth when I came back and opened the bottle because he thought it was more medicine but once I showed him the bubbles he got so happy and I taught him how to blow bubbles, his mother was so greatful to the swedish girls and I for spending time with him and playing with him. I can't convey the depth of my sorrow when I found out he had died, the other girls didn't know and I didn't have enough strength to tell them while we were in the villages working. They leave tomorrow and their husbands are here to take them on the next leg of their journey so I waited until after lunch to tell them which was so freeing because we all just broke down and cried not just for Amilkumar but for all the suffering people we have seen in the past weeks, sometimes it becomes too much and you just have to give it all up to God because theres no way I could carry all of this on my own. I spent the remainder of the day in bed because I felt too weak to do anything, I still do but as good as it is to mourn you must keep going. My muscles ache and I'm on the verge of loosing it everytime I think of Amil, but God has put a song on my heart to get me through it and its "I will lift my eyes" by bebo norman. Heres some of the lyrics

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You
God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now

Sushila is a person I believe I have talked about before, but I decided that in order to know the depth of her sorrow the whole story must be told. She is from a part in Northern India were women used to jump into the fire burning their dead husbands body because it was pointless for them to be alive without their husbands, India has banned this but you can tell by their past that things are very much about the man and she is nothing without him. You must also know about her husband Mukesh who is sick with TB and AIDS and has a failing liver due to either heptitus B or drinking. During the summers the Males go to the cities to find work because it gets too hot here to work, I am infact in the hotest part of India. Often times the males, since they are without their wives, go to prostitutes, get HIV, then come home and give it to their wives. This is what happened to Sushila but she was asymptomatic so she had no idea she had anything wrong with her until her husband, Mukesh, came to St. Lukes. She started complaining of a fever when she was here with her husband so they decided to check to she if she also had HIV. She ended up having a CD4 count of 30 (should be 900-1000) and she also has TB and she's anemic. With all of this I understood why she would be so depressed, going from thinking you were fine to being in the process of dying. Then I sat in on a counseling session with her and mrs. abraham told me that she had lost both her children to AIDS, it was then that I realized that she had no hope. In India if you have no children, no husband, and AIDS its called being socially dead, so even if she was still alive she would die quickly from not having money to buy food or a house to live in. So its not if but when her husband dies she will follow after shortly, maybe not in the fire his body is burning in but you get the point. Woman and children are the mindless victims of mens foolish games.

The next story is a happy one, fairly shallow and fun! I bet youre going oh good, finally something happy!

Three days ago I got to help deliver a baby! I was walking around taking pictures and Pushpa the nurse came over to me and told me that the baby was coming so I ran to the room just in time to see her give birth! The baby was 2.4 kg and I got to clean it off, I took pictures of it before I cleaned it off though, it looked like cream cheese was spread on it, i cant remember the correct term for it, something like viseral cottage, i dont know. Anyways, it was so much better than watching birthing videos, those videos make it seem gross sometimes but in person its so beautiful. The mother didn't make a sound, I was actually making the most noise with all my excitement.

So there you go, three stories of Life, Death, and everything in between. Today is coming to an end an hopefully tomorrow will be a happier day.

Pray Requests
Amilkumars parents, I can't imagine having your only child die.
Sushila and her husband Mukesh, for healing
Dattu, he slipped into acoma last night
Me, strength to overcome the obsticals infront of my
Johanna and Ellen, for safety in the next part of their journey
St. Lukes, that it will be a place where the Unloved are loved and the outcasts find a place to belong.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and what i ask, I love you all and miss you dearly!

I'm in India?

Posted on Facebook on September 9th at 8:33am CST

So I saved a note I started writing but decided i didn't want to have to read it to find out what it said so I'm starting over :)
Have you ever been completely aware of your skin color? Until I came to India I really didn't understand how people view white people in third world countries, not that I was totally ignorant, I have just never worked so closely with people that view white people so highly.
Today was Eye Camp, where people who cant afford to get new lens' come and get new ones for free and the very first patient that came in was returning to make sure that eveything was alright from his previous surgery. I was just sitting there learning how to tell if they have cataracs and when he got up he was thanking the doctor and then came around and knelt at my feet and thanked me. I was so shocked that this elderly man was kneeling at my feet I didn't say anything. How am I suppose to serve in a community where they regaurd me as better than them, the closest I get to being a servant to this community is helping out with blood pressure and just being here and smiling at the patients. I am reading the gospels right now and I'm in Luke, whenever I come across the passage about the least becoming greatest I get frustrated because theres no way to become least in a society where they think so highly of me just because I'm white and am educated. Did you know that just by me being here working in the clinic it gets a higher standing because the government thinks, oh if I educated white person comes and learns here it must be a good place, which I'm glad that something good comes of this but its still frustrating. I dont know if I said this in the last note, but in the clinic they mainly help HIV patients, that means that everyone admitted who isn't in the family planning has to have HIV. This is mainly because no hospital in India, or around here anyway, will take them because of the fact they have HIV.
I'm pretty sure I had culture shock when I came here so I'm just now starting to have emotions towards all of this, before it was just learning the routine and getting used to things, but its starting to get harder. Like today during morning rounds I met one of the new patients that we have and his name is Sebatian which I can actually say and remember Praise the LORD. Anyways he was in a car accident and his left leg has a very long cut on it from the ancle to a little above the knee, he had to come to St. Lukes because he was HIV positive and no one would take him in.
So today he was walking from one place to another and it looked like he was having trouble so I asked him if I could help him, he knows a little english and he said No I'm an HIV patient like he was leathal to touch or something so I told him I didn't care but he just kept on saying no I'm an HIV patient. I think it was then when it really hit me how much society has drilled it into there heads that HIV is something that is so wrong to have, which in a country where you are shunned by your family and friends for having it I can see why they would think that, it was just heart breaking. Anyways he's grown to be one of my favorite patients and I've gotten to the point when I'm walking to work I can't wait to see all of them because I've grown so attached to the patients even though we have no way of really communticating but through body language. I'm beginning to feel like this place is going to be hard to leave.
So this past weekend I went to Gulbarga which was an adventure, its the closest city and man is it third world. When you walk out on the streets you feel like your going to get lung cancer from the polution your breathing in and the streets have cow manure all over them, I've never seen so many cows in a city before, theres people in nice cars and then when you look down a different street theres people coming from villages with two cows and a cart carrying what there selling. I dont really know how best to discribe it, I just know I am so glad God put me here and not there.
In Gulbarga there is an English medium school run by the Hindustani Covenant Church so we got to hang out there on saturday with the children and I got to meet two more swedish girls which was fun, everywhere i go I'm either surrounded by swedish people or Indians :) but it was great fun because the two girls go to SVF and actually came to North Park last semester with the exchange program, Jenny and Anika, it was really nice to hang out with them and the two girls I live with becuase Jenny and Anika lived in chicago and know the same people I do so that was a real bessing from God. Although I do wish he would send me someone who spoke english as there first language but I dont know if people like that have ever been in a 200 mile radius of where I am, I've only heard of swedish and europeans coming here and people always assume I'm European. That part is hard but I am glad I came alone because I'm more free to do what God wants me to do and not have to worry about the other person which sounds selfish but its not, I help the patients better because theres no one distracting me who I could have more that four word converstations with, besides the swedes but there usually in a different part. God is the only person who only speaks english with me, although sometimes I wonder if he's speaking in a different language and so thats why i dont understand him :).
Ah I have to go but there is so much more to write about, like tailoring school and site seeing (2 mosques and 1 buddist temple) but Anika and Jenny should be arriving shortly because its Johanna's birthday today and she's 24 so where celebrating! But I'll leave you with this, my greatest struggle is the fact that my faith isn't strong enough to heal the patients here, reading the gospels I have noticed how much Jesus says about if you just have a little faith you can do miricles, I dont even have a little faith because I am not performing any such things, maybe pray that my faith will be stretched while I'm here. I miss you and love you all and I hope that God is blessing you no matter where you are, sorry I haven't gotten back to some emails I will when I have more time!

My Mother's Going to Kill Me

Posted on Facebook September 3rd at 9:53am CST

Disclaimer: Due to only living with people who speak english as a second language I infact am loosing sentence structure, bear with me, this may be painful to read but the content is good!

Hello world its me Sarah! I am going to tell you all about the last (almost) week I have had in INDIA! I should start out by saying the title of this is because my mother is going to kill me when she finds out I have been able to contact her since early morning tuesday my time but I've just been too tired :). Anywho I began my adventure on saturday at 4:15 pm and arrived in Amsterdam an hour earlier than planned so I decided since I forgot to call my family before leaving I should do it there which ended up costing me either 10 or 20 american dollars because Europe is crazy. That flight was fine, I sat next to two very nice people who loved to chat and by the end of it I knew their social security number... no not really, they just like to inform me on everything... So that was a fine flight but after that not so much.... you see while waiting in the Amsterdam airport I started to feel a little sick but thought nothing of it so I ate a muffin and a tea for about 8 dollars and went and waited for the plane to leave. Once flying in the air I got in the fetal position and prayed for the pain to stop... just kidding, my mother again is going to kill me. What really happened is that there weren't a ton of people on the plane so the seat next to me was open which was a blessing from God because I threw up about every hour until Mumbai... so that would be about 7 or 8 times. I was pretty out of it and in quite a lot of pain at some points in the journey but obviously I made it alive. At one point I was going to ask the flight attendant if there was a doctor aboard but I decided to sleep instead. She did seem very worried when ever she would pass by and my sick bag would be a little bit fuller. So I got off the plane and got into a crambed bus thing that took us very slowly to customs where I was sure I was going to be sick but I think God finally noticed I couldn't take anymore throwing up. So then I got my bag and went outside and saw my name on a peice of paper and the man who picked me up was very nice although I never caught his name. I know this is a lot but its almost a third done :). So then I went and stayed at the guest house in Mumbai for the night and then spent most of monday inside reading and sleeping until I had to ride the night train at 8:30 to Gulbarga.
So the night train... at first I thought the man was going with me on the night train but no I got to go all by myself! So if anyone has seen Slumdog millionaire the train station in that movie is exactly like the one he lead me to... Joshua 1:9 came in handy at that point not that I had any reason to be scared or worried its just preconceieved notions about train stations in India that made me nervous, exspecially being the only white person there let alone female. So then I got onto the night train and found my bed hanging from the ceiling above a man on the lower one and thought this is interesting... so I tried to sleep the best I could but the only way to know when it's your stop is to look at the time and seeing as I had no watch (not smart) and my phone had died and I have no charger (not smart) I had no idea what time it was and the poor lady on the bed across from me haning from the ceiling I'm sure got annoyed with me asking what time it was after the 4th time. So after four o'clock in the morning I decided to just stay awake and get up everytime we stoped to see what stop we were at. Oh and during this whole time I was praying so hard that God would send power into my phone so I could know what time it was, it went something like If you can move mountains with the faith of a mustard seed then why isn't my phone turning on? and he said because I am God and I am bigger than your stupid phone and will take care of it. And of course he was right because there was a man who got on the train to get me when my stop arrived, I could of had a good nights sleep but instead I decided to worry, what a stupid human.
Ah this is soo long sorry, you dont have to read, its more for my parents sake :).So the first day:I arrived to find a note on my bed from the Director, Dr. Abraham, and it said that the two swedish girls and I will have two women cooking, cleaning, and doing our laundry for us while we stay here ( I know, life is hard) and a lot of other stuff that I wont go into detail on but then at the back was my schedual for the month of september. I get saturday's and sunday's off to do as I please and the rest of the week I work from 9-1:30 and 3:30-5:30 again i know life is hard... I live in a house with my own room and bathroom and its just me and the two swedish girls, Johanna and Elin. They are both very nice and sometimes i feel like I'm taking on a swedish accent, ah! So I started work after Dr. Solomon showed me around the place which happens to be on the of the most beautiful places, I wish i could show you guys pictures right now becuase I don't even know how to explain it, I'm in India country with hills and trees, its very pretty. So every tuesday is Family Planning which in short means lets make it so you can't have kids. So I watched a tubectomy which is when they cut open women and tie there fallopian tubes and then cut them so there is no possible way for them to have kids. Of course while I'm watching this I start feeling a little faint,
1. i have never seen a surgery in person
2. it was a small room with a small window air, not very good ventalation...
3. the poor women were only locally anethsitized and they did two at a time so once they started on one women then another one would come in to get ready for the surgery and have to see what they were doing, they weren't even doing it to me and I almost fainted!They did put eye patches over the womens eyes so they didn't have to see themselves being cut open, maybe by the end I'll be able to not faint while watching, maybe even help out because nurses were helping and they keep calling us staff nurses... :). After that we went home and ate a wonderful Indian feast and due to my jet lag I fell asleep from 2pm until 6 am the next day... wow thats a lot of sleep!Wednesday:This day we headed out to one of the villages where, accourding to Dr. Sheeba, was the real india and boy was it something. We went to the Hindu Temple there to do a ANC Camp (anti natal clinic) which means in short gathering up the pregnant women and weighing them and taking their blood pressure and giving them some folic acid I believe... I can't remember for sure. We also gave cough syrup to people who had colds. While we were in the village the two girls and I went to the schools to meet the children and see what they were doing. They told us that 10 years ago there were no schools in the villages in india but then the government built schools but children didn't come until the last five years and now 80% of kids go, I think thats pretty amazing, ya education!
I just have to say this is the latest I've stayed up since being here and its only 8 o'clock so sorry if this is a weird posting. So that was wednesday, more food, more sleep, more doing rounds with the doctors.Today:Today was a seminar all day on HIV care and Infection control and stuff of that sort. It was quite long exspecially since it was in Cadana (the local language) and Mrs. Abraham would interpret the key points. Heres what I got from it...Wash your hands, clean instruments well, clean the sheets well, and use gloves. I got a little worried when they were telling this to the whole staff because I felt it was something that they should already know but this is a third world country and I guess better late then never. HIV stuff was really interesting. The private hospitals in india usually don't accept HIV patients because of the stigma. St. Lukes (where I'm working) is really great because they go to the villages and educate the youth on HIV and get rid of any stereotypes that go with it. The clinic gives out ART to people with HIV if they are willing to be admitted for 5 days so I've gotten to meet some of them. One man has TB, decreased liver function, and HIV so he isn't doing so well. TB is fairly common around here and becuase he has TB they can't start him on Antiretroviral treatment until thats undercontrol but because of his bad liver there aren't many drugs to use to help control the TB, it will be hard but I'm sure he'll make it. There is another woman in the ward who has TB in her abdoman and is in a lot of pain, she was moved to IC but whenever I ask about her they say she's doing better, I dont really know if I believe that though. And now its raining yuck. i feel like i live in a rain forest and I have the bugs that go along with it, stupid cockroaches. Ooo and lizards! Sorry about that tangent. The clinic is very primitave and sometimes I feel like I know more than the nurses but being here makes me want to be a nurse even more just because I'm shown how little I really know. Sometimes when they tell me things I want to just say hold on while i go look that up. They really do think I know more than I do, but I got to take blood pressure so I am set.

Tomorrow I may be on I dont really know, the two girls are going into town so I'll be by myself which is a little unnerving but I'm sure it will be good to get settled in. On saturday and sunday I'll be in town hanging out with the Swedish population so that should be intresting, it seems I'm the only American in India so I'll just have to do with the swedes :).Prayer RequestsNo bugs attack me and whatever bug thats in my bed that keeps biteing me would go away.That I wont be so tired all the time, stupid jetlagUnderstanding when it comes to people speaking in english with accents that makes it sound like they are speaking a whole different language all together.
Okay well thats all for tonight, I'll be back on monday night if not tomorrow night, I dont know what that means for you because i dont know what time or day it is in the U.S.
KVP - found my wallet and phone in my big bag :)
Family - I love you and miss you.
Friends - don't have too much fun without me
P.S. the male nurses wear white uniforms like they were from the 60's and it makes me laugh whenever i see them.